I decided to learn more about Jerome R. Corsi, Ph.D. Applying the same scrupulous research techniques employed by Corsi in his several novels, I learned the following startling facts:

In his Wikipedia entry, Corsi is cited as having married for a second time in 1991. The name of his second wife: Monica Corsi. Coincidence? Or are we to recall Dick Cheney's joke about West Virginia: "There are lots of married couples there, and some of them aren't even related." But Corsi's marital adventures don't stop there. Consider: there is no further mention, not a single word, about his first wife, Joy Dugan. The entry notes that Corsi is a Roman Catholic. It's unlikely therefore that he would have divorced Dugan. And yet somehow she conveniently exits the stage in time for Corsi to marry, ahem, Corsi. Where is Joy Dugan? And what is Corsi hiding?

The McCain campaign has a new program: Just spread favorable McCain comments around the web, and you earn points leading to exciting prizes. Prizes such as a ride on the Dire Straits Express! It doesn't get any better than that. There's just one problem. The suggested favorable comments, or "talking points" to use the term of art, are extremely lame. One sample: John McCain has a comprehensive economic program. Yawn. The McCain camp needs much more exciting material to ignite the kind of grass roots fire they're aiming for. If the following items don't get me a ride with the McCain campaign, I'll be truly shocked:

The oily bird gets the worm. Oily to bed, oily to rise, makes a nation maybe unhealthy but wealthy if not wise. Drill everywhere, drill now, drill deep. Get your drills with John McCain.

That John McCain is a real pistol. He barbecues, addresses biker rallies, offers Cindy up in topless beauty contests, banters with babes like Paris Hilton, spends more on a pair of shoes than you make in a week. A real man, a he man, a man's man, a mano a mano kind of man, a true man-iac.

John McCain just has no shame,
Who knew he’d stoop so low?
At Barack’s door he lays the blame
For oil high and econ slow

Falling stocks and housing woes
Costly food, each bank that fails
Endless war that nowhere goes
Drought and flood, crowded jails.

For potholes and broken bridges
Polluted water, dirty air
Mosquitoes and summer midges
Heat and dust, boombox blare.

For cloudy days and dirty beaches
Famine, Ignorance, Pestilence, Grief.
Don’t you think he over-reaches
Strains the bounds of our belief?

Oh John Sidney you certain sinner
Telling lies of such transparency.
Proof positive this evil liver
Cannot be taken seriously.

Ach du Lieber, Lieberman!
Since you are a holy man,
Why run independently,
When you can join the GOP?
It’s the perfect haven
For your type of maven:
The sanctimonious squirt
Who wears religion on his shirt
Champions with intensity,
All captains of industry
Feigns to rise above political mud
And fearlessly wages war, with others' blood.

Asked about higher U.S. cigarette exports to Iran, John McCain said "Maybe that’s a way of killing them." The syntax may be clumsy, but foreign policy and military affairs expert McCain is surely onto a good thing here. Considering that Iraq and Afghanistan have cost us trillions of dollars and tens of thousands of casualties, McCain proposes that our next war be a casualty-free, profit-making venture. Who could possibly object to that?

I quite dislike that John McCain
For reasons easy to explain
It’s not at all his death’s head grin,
Nor his oratory made of tin
Not so much his corrupt cronies
Nor his morals, so very phony.

The problem I’ve with John McCain
Has more to do with his refrain
In which he does us all entreat
To fear the prospect of defeat
Of the Republican nominee
Who just happens to be he.

In London the other day President Bush remarked that he intended to write his memoirs. He promises to include all the highlights of his life to date. His mischievous youth torturing small animals and insects in Texas. His glorious cheerleading days at Andover. The fun he had going AWOL in the national guard. The heroic struggle to get through Yale and Harvard with passing grades. The heavy drinking, the failed businesses, Jesus, redemption, the highest office in the land, surviving a deadly pretzel. The self-reported highlight of his tenure in office: catching a large fish in the Crawford estate lake. This is the stuff of epic, a certain bestseller and instant classic.